Thursday, June 10, 2010

So Fine

Yesterday began thee most rewarding way to spend time.  Levi now stares back at me, and then we smile huge toothless or toothy grins (depending on who's who) for about ten infinities.  It's taken a month for us to become best buddies.  I'm set.  What else is there?

We stood together in front of a mirror and Levi smiled at my reflection, skipping his own (which makes sense developmentally on his part).  As a human, I have this horrible ego problem where I like to be appreciated and maybe even looked at as an intelligent or strong person by people that I like or love.  All of this becomes a crumbly, crusty piece of nothing when he smiles at me.  I love the way he looks at me simply because I love him so much, and maybe his expressions show that he's learning to love me too.

An ego is such a waste of time, but I must mention that it will be totally acceptable if Levi someday feels at least remotely about his father and me the way I feel about my mom and dad.  If he looks up to me even when he's taller than me, I'll be honored.  But today I don't have to be smart, strong, nice, funny, or anything else because I'm Levi's mom, Aaron's wife, and my Father's daughter.  I'm free, humbled, and incapable of conveying how much this rules.  

Earlier this afternoon Levi and I drove aimlessly up Highway 1 on another day when the silvery ocean was the same as the sky since nothing separated the two.  He snored peacefully in his car seat behind me.  The mastery of creation overwhelmed each of my senses.

There's no logical place to end this entry because so many great things seem to be beginning.   

1 comment:

  1. Kristin, you write so delicately and beautifully! You sum up the way a new parent feels in perfect sense! I love love love it!! Your little guy is rockin cute! And isn't it amazing what a smile can do to a mom's heart!? I'm feeling it too lately, it's just what I need, especially with a spicy toddler in the house!